My superpower: Lean In.

I think I found my superpower... It's called Lean In. 

All my life, I ran. In fifth grade, I ran from school, ran into homeschool, and I've been running from hard stuff ever since. 

If it's too hard, challenging, it's not for me. My greeting of departure was always "Have fun!"

But when my inner life crashed in around me at the end of 2016... And I entered a season of darkness that led to me planning my own death... I made a choice I'd never made before. It seemed so small, at the time, but it turned out to be the theme upon which I've built my entire life's successes... I leaned in. 

I went to two men, a counselor and a small group leader, and I laid it all out to them. Told them I'd be there regularly until I finished making up my mind who I was going to be. 

Jacob wrestled with God all night, through his darkness, and he left touched by God. Out of that encounter he left with a permanent physical reminder of the struggle, and a new name, new identity. 

When I came out of that season, I too had a permanent reminder and a new identity. It was a fledgling identity, but it was a start. 

When my wife, the boy's mom, died, I had to press into that new identity pretty hard. I had to lean in. I failed and succeeded, back and forth. But I leaned in to the grieving process. 

Tonight, I've been leaning into change on the way I handle political conversations.

That's been hard to swallow.

What's irritating you today? Bothering you? What's getting to you at an almost irrational level? What change are you afraid of? 

Lean In to that feeling. Whatever makes you uncomfortable, is exactly where you need to be.

#Selah