Flavia Antoinette Wolfe (and Baby Wolfe) - Memorial Information Page

Flavia Antoinette Wolfe (and Baby Wolfe, nickname "Blueberry") passed away on 06/25/2018. 

gofundme.com/flaviawolfememorial 

Links and Contact:

Honestly, Facebook and Facebook Messenger are the best places to reach Darrell.

• Darrell's Facebook Page(s) Self & Joint
• Facebook Messenger: @darrellandflaviawolfe
• me@darrellwolfe.com
• Mobile: 208-907-1617

• Flavia's Facebook Page
• Her Art Page: Creatively Unique Artist

• Explanation of What Happened

• GoFundMe Link: gofundme.com/flaviawolfememorial 

• Memorial Photo Album
• Memorial Slide Show or on YouTube Here

• Good Grief Resources:
• Memorial Message of Hope (written)

• Jesse Duplantis: CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE GOD KIND

• YouTube: Good Grief Playlist

What Happened?

For detail on what happened, click here.

If the link doesn't work, paste this into your browser:

http://www.darrellwolfe.com/2018/06/flavia-antoinette-wolfe-heres-what.html

Shared Photo Album:

I created a Google Photos album, ! Flavia Wolfe (link here), so that I could share photos of her. I'll add more over time. I made it shareable so other's could add their own photos too.

If the link doesn't work, paste this into your browser:

https://photos.app.goo.gl/t2QPRtHa7VbJezbi8


Obituary:

Flavia Antoinette Wolfe (and Baby Wolfe, nickname "Blueberry") passed away on 06/25/2018 at approximately 2:24 am PST.

• Link: Explanation of What Happened

She leaves behind a Husband (Darrell Wolfe 37), Two Sons (Connor Wolfe 13, Preston Wolfe 10), a Mother and Father (JoAnn & Rocky Sutherland), a Mother In Love (Debbie Tweedy), and a host of friends and family that loved her.

*Baby Wolfe: Flavia was about 7 weeks pregnant. That's early enough that it didn't feel real, per say, but we were getting excited. We don't know, but, I feel in my heart that it was a girl. If so, her name was Azarea Ann Wolfe; Flavia had the name picked out since she herself was about 16. If it was a boy, his name was going to be Caleb. We'd been talking about having more for years, and these names were ready to go. During the ultrasound, the OBGYN mentioned (or was it her pregnancy app?) that the baby was about the size of a blueberry. Flavia would talk about her little blueberry. I've decided to nickname baby: "Blueberry" from here on out.


About Flavia:

There's not enough room to put it all into words. I could spend the next thirty years writing stories about her, I suppose. I think the following are important to say:

• Believer: She loved Jesus. She was born again, spirit filled, and she is with her Abba/Daddy in heaven right now. She's enjoying herself, free from the weights of this world. She's raising our third child, Azarea. She's not lost. We grieve because we don't have her here with us, but we don't grieve for her, we grieve for our own hurt due to her prolonged absence. We'll see her again on the other side.

• Mom (Wolfe Pups Mom): She LOVED Connor and Preston. I know I'm biased; however, I honestly don't know that I've ever met a mom so totally dedicated to her children. Her highest hope and desire was for them. She didn't plan vacations unless it was about and for them. She stayed at home and raised them as a Homeschool Mom. When our finances forced her to work for the first time this past year, she worked overnights and early mornings just to make sure she could still raise them as a Homeschool Mom.

• Wife: She was dedicated to me. Her love and devotion through the hard times healed my heart. On Jan 6th, 2017, we had renewed our devotion to each other and had the BEST year and half of our marriage at the end. Her influence on me will carry itself through everything I do from here.

• Daughter & Family: I have nothing I can add other than to say she was a rock steady glue that held this family (immediate and extended) together. Her mom, JoAnn, was her best friend. Mom mom, Debbie, was in love with her.

• Creatively Unique Artist: She was an Artist. She spent most of her time in the craft world, trying to find ways to bring extra income to the family from home. She focused on this so much, that she never fulfilled what I know was her calling, to be an artist with works in galleries and in homes. However, she put the intensity of a fine-arts master into everything she created. Whether it was Paper Machete Piggy Banks, Yarn Dolls, Crochet Hats, or Bags... she put a level of detail and precision that went far beyond "crafter". She posted them on her Facebook Page: Creatively Unique Arts.

Getting Involved:

So many people want to help in some way. It's hard because there's only so many grocery deliveries or meals we can take before it ends up going to waste.

(1) Monetary Donations:

We set up a GoFundMe (link here) campaign in her name. The funds will be used for several things:

• Medical & Final Expense Costs
• Bills, Debts, and Unexpected Items
• School: with her gone, they'll probably go to "school" for the first time. Public school is NOT an option. So, we'll need to cover Charter Schools or something.
• Anything left over will go toward things the kids need over the next few years and maybe college accounts.

If the link doesn't work, paste this into your browser:

https://www.gofundme.com/flavia-wolfe-memorial-fund?teamInvite=fG3YEqhDKkCmqiGqDZTUVN8iCXWDvlLNeRkjqJTAL4eRqdGaU7QhFAheAGk7ar6V

(2) Other Needs:

Some would like to do something more than giving money. I'm going to list the random things we either need or would be helpful or just random things we talk about to give ideas. By no means should anyone feel like these are all needs, they're just things that come up in conversation and I've been asked to share no matter how random.

• Clothes: She always handled this and we were just talking about how the boys outgrew everything in a sudden growth spurt this spring.

• Connor: Size TBA
• He's always been a preppy kid. 
• Shoes & Hiking Boots: Size TBA
• Jeans
• Sweats / Night Pants
• T-Shirts
• Summer Evening Sweaters
• Winter Jackets
• Anything with Batman or Pokemon

• Preston: Size TBA
• He's sensitive to fabric feel. He needs things that are soft, smooth, loose fitting.
• Shoes & Hiking Boots: Size TBA
• Jeans
• Athletic Wear
• Sweats / Night Pants
• T-Shirts
• Summer Evening Sweaters
• Winter Jackets
• Anything with Batman or Pokemon

• Pokemon Cards: Packs, Boxes, Whatever you find. Just remember, there are two boys.

• Boat: We wanted to buy a boat someday, and kayaks, but short of owning them, we want to go out on them. If you are in this area and own them, we'll come with you this summer... and beyond.

• Outings: If you are in North Idaho, especially if you have kids our age, invite us out. We can't always except, but I'm going to make a concerted effort this summer to get out as often as I can. Just realize that we need time at home alone resting and processing as well. 

• TBD
• TBD
• TBD
• TBD

• *A Nintendo Switch (*2): This is a costly item, but I'll throw it out there. This was on our list to get and play together before she left. They now want two of them because I guess it turns into a hand-held? They wanted to play some new Mario game on there and the new Pokemon.

Service:
There will be a memorial service held for those of us who remain so we can celebrate her life and influence.

Date: Saturday, July 7th, 2018
Time: 12:00 pm (noon) PST
Location: One Place Church, Hayden Idaho
Directions: (link here)

One Place Church
190 Centa Ave, Hayden, ID 83835
https://goo.gl/maps/S8FHJbJrQeq

*Just behind Q'doba, across the parking lot from Peak Fitness.

In lieu of flowers (it's a three male household), send gift cards or Pokemon Card Packs:

Darrell, Connor, and Preston Wolfe

PO Box 1307

Hayden, ID 83835

Some Favorite Photos:

Shalom: Live Long and Prosper!

Darrell Wolfe (DG Wolfe)

Storyteller | Writer | Thinker | Consultant @ DarrellWolfe.com

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Flavia Antoinette Wolfe: Here's what happened...

Flavia Antoinette Wolfe died this morning (06/25/2018) at approximately 2:45 am PST.

For update see
http://www.darrellwolfe.com/2018/06/flavia-antoinette-wolfe-and-baby-wolfe.html?m=1

The following is meant to answer some basic questions that everyone's asking me. I'd rather send a link then type or talk it out over and over. I'll add more memories and things later as I recall or rediscover. It's a little cathartic for me, to be able to get it out of my head anyway.

The background leading up to this morning:

• On May 24, 2018, I got a text with a picture of a positive pregnancy test followed by "So... Boy, girl, twins?"

• We made appointments, got excited. Flavia was overweight but in generally good health otherwise, so-say-the-tests. However, the pregnancy hit her hard and fast. She said within a month of that test she was feeling like she did when she was six-months pregnant.

• 06/06/2018: She took the boys to get Fro-Yo, it was nice outside, they decided to walk around the block. Everything was fine, except she got tired fast.

• 06/09/2018: She started complaining of cramping and little nausea. Common pregnancy issues.

• 06/10/2018: She said her left leg was started to hurt. It was the day after work, she guessed she hurt it up and down the ladders stalking, or strained it in some way.

• 06/11/2018: We had our first OBGYN appointment. They took pictures, the baby was the size of the blueberry. The leg was hurting worse. The doctor said if it continued that she wanted it checked out for blood clots.

• 06/12/2018: Her leg was still very sore, and getting worse. We called the OBGYN, she had Flavia scheduled for an ultra-sound on her leg. After reading, reading, re-reading, all of the symptoms common to clots, cramps, and strains, Flavia was becoming convinced that she had pulled a muscle but went anyway just to be safe.

• 06/13/2018: The ultrasound was performed, they said there were not able to find any clots. Flavia was worried about returning to work and making sure her Leave of Absence (LOA) was covered. I told her not to force is, returning to work too early could cause complications. She reluctantly agreed to take more time off. She went to the Urgent Care that night. They did whatever they do, said it was a strain and told her to use Aspercream. 

• 06/13-06/24: This was a whole lot more of the same. No new appointments, but the leg was feeling better, then not, then it was, then her back was hurting from sleeping in positions that propped her leg. She was getting frustrated.

• 06/24/2018: We talked that night about our dreams for the future, our plans, making sure we focused on our areas of strength and not forcing things that don't fit us. Great talk. I went to be at her encouragement and she slept on the couch again to prop her leg.

• 06/24/2018--06/25/2019: At approximately 1:00-1:30 am PST, Flavia came into the bedroom and called my name. She was frantic. She said her leg didn't hurt anymore but she was dizzy and to take her to the hospital. She collapsed in the living room. I called 911. 

• The paramedics performed chest compressions for about 20 minutes? They took her to the hospital ER. I gathered the boys, expecting it to be a while and then follow her to the room when they got her back up and spend a long night there. 

• The boys stayed in the waiting room with a nurse, they talked about Pokemon. 

• I stayed in the corner of the ER, watching, praying, waiting. To my knowledge, they tried everything they could, for almost two hours. At no point during these interventions did she make progress or respond positively, as far as I could tell. 

• 06/24/2018/06/25/2018: At approximately 2:45 am PST, the doctor informed me that she was not responding, hadn't responded once during the entire ordeal, and he was going to stop intervention. She was pronounced deceased. 

• The boys were escorted to a consultation room. I met them there and they expected to hear she was better. There was a lot of screaming and crying when I told them she'd passed. Then Flavia's mom and dad arrived. We all went to the room, saw Flavia, everyone had their own reactions.

• Eventually, I took the boys home. Flavia's mom and dad followed and stayed for a while. Then it was clear the boys just needed space. They headed home to grieve. The boys spent today watching The Flash episodes. Flavia, the boys, and I had started on season one. We spent all yesterday watching it together. I think they want to finish out because we all started it. They also wanted the distraction. I bought them some more games for the handhelds. 

And that's now. Several people lovingly brought us food, one came and took some bulk trash for me. My mom's coming tonight on a plane. 

I know there's nothing you can say. I know you care. I know I can ask you for help when I need it. Right now, we just want to let it settle. The boys facilitate from crying to numb to distracted. We've laughed a few times, which is nice. 

Flavia is in heaven. We didn't lose her. We know where she is, we'll see her again someday. The baby is in heaven too. I don't know if it was a girl or boy, maybe they'll tell us when they complete the autopsy. In my heart, it I believe it was our girl, Azarea. I'll see both of them again someday. 

For now, we are heartbroken, sad, angry, lost, confused, shocked, living in a surrealness that makes it feel that any moment she'll walk in the door, or walk from another room, or the hospital will call and say "we were wrong, she responded"... But we will make it. Team Wolfe. We'll let you know what we need as time goes on.

Numb just ended, and I have to go cry now. Thank you for your love and support.

**UPDATE: for those who asked, the autopsy did reveal a massive blot clot inithe left leg that shot loose bilateral to both lungs. Autopsy also revealed an enlarged heart that was most likely an issue for years leading up to this, and may have caused the hormone and weight issues prior. **



Darrell

Shalom: Live Long and Prosper (in eternity)!

Darrell Wolfe (DG Wolfe)

Storyteller | Writer | Thinker | Consultant @ DarrellWolfe.com

Some asked:
** For the moment, you can mail things to 3403 N 4th St, CDA, ID 83815. We'll set up a GoFundMe account later, some asked for that too. Just don't have the energy to do that right now. Maybe later today or tomorrow.

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I Collect Churches

So I have a confession...

I have a strange hobby. Some people collect toys, cars, stamps. Some people visit museums, zoos, arboretums.

New Life Church, in Rathdrum Idaho

I... collect church experiences.

I visit churches and collect insights on the differences between them, leadership styles, music styles, facility choices, and the overall experience. I collect pastoral teaching and teaching styles. I collect theology and theological differences.

I didn't know it was a hobby at first. I thought I was just "looking for a home church", or looking for something I hadn't found yet. I thought I just hadn't found my place...

Some of that is true. But really, I somewhat accidentally turned studying church into a hobby. Maybe it's because I was a pastor's kid and saw some of the inside workings from a unique perspective. Maybe it's because I secretly, and not so secretly, feel I am supposed to be a pastor but I'm still trying desperately to be anything else.

Maybe it's because Church, theology, and teachings have let me down and disappointed me and I'm not ready to commit to any one thing, place, or person/pastor?

I'm not sure.

Maybe it's all those things, none of them, something else plus those and more?

This morning, I visited New Life Church, in Rathdrum Idaho. 

On balance, it was one of my better over-all experiences. The outside of the facility makes me feel like I'm walking back in time to something from my youth (not necessarily a good thing). However, once inside I found a nicely remodeled entry with a coffee shop.

I was greeted warmly, by several people. However, I think they got the hint from my posture that I was uncomfortable so they eventually, thankfully, gave me my space. One thing I cannot abide is being pulled into a conversation I don't want to have.

The soundboard was on display at the back (which is the entrance) and I almost went to check it out, but I'm a first time visitor, they have things to do and don't need the distraction, so I found a seat with the family.

The carpet, walls, and seats need a facelift, but they were functional. I'd listened to the Elijah message before coming, so I knew that the pastor left WAY too many seats put out on purpose, contrary to popular church growth teaching, because he wants a vision of the future to get into everyone's head. I liked that idea.

Funny thing is, I saw why church growth teachers tell you to do that. There were about 600 seats but only about 200 people. They actually did fill out all over the sanctuary so that no row or even section was full but every section had some people. I guess that's why they rope off sections in other churches, pushing people forward. Still, knowing ahead of time that it was his vision, I liked it. The absence of people didn't detract from the experience for me. I don't know if it's because I knew the vision ahead of time or not though. 

I took some notes. The message was titled: DAD (Dedicated Against Destruction)

Lesson: He learned from his father, also a pastor, that when change needs to happen you need to Cut deep enough that you only cut once! That includes when you change an organization as a new leader when you make changes to your health when you decide to change a habit or even a sin. Leave no room for error and don't make such a small cut that you have to keep going back over and over cutting, again and again, bleeding to death. Just cut deep enough that the problem is gone and you can start healing.

When we need to change, either to let bad stuff go or just to let good stuff go that's distracting us from better... Do we let the Holy Spirit cut deep enough?

Lesson: Destruction comes from false witnesses.

“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves.  You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles?  Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.  A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit.  Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Matthew 7:15‭-‬19 NKJV

What does it mean to be a False Prophet, and could you be one without knowing it?

False prophets are godly talk with worldly actions.

You need to be careful what voices you listen to and listen for... that includes inside your own head. Stop listening for someone else... On behalf of someone else... Or for another voice.

Don't substitute godly things for good things. You may "want" something, but is that thing you want or enjoy keeping you from something far greater?

Lesson: You don't get healed by comparing the size of your wound to another's. Instead of looking at what other's have, feeling either jealousy or sorrow, look at what you have and be grateful. Instead of looking at other's failures and saying "at least I'm not that bad", look at your own wounds and let God heal them so you can move on to greater things.

Question: Could Jesus satisfy the need that sin (lust, jealousy, anger, bitterness, pride, slothfulness, desire, etc.) is trying to convince you it meets?

The pastor brought his own son up to the platform and read from the book: Good Good Father for Little Ones (Affiliate Link); by Chris Tomlin (Author), Pat Barrett (Author).

Lesson: The only gift you can bring God is YOURSELF... he doesn't want your sacrifice, praise, Bible reading, or other "Christian tasks"... he wants YOU. Then, out of that flows those other things.

Thanks for reading... If you're ever in the North Idaho area, you should visit.

*New Life Church

Address: 7011, 6068 W Hayden Ave, Rathdrum, ID 83858

Phone: (208) 687-3606

Shalom: Live Long and Prosper!

Darrell Wolfe (DG Wolfe)

Storyteller | Writer | Thinker | Consultant @ DarrellWolfe.com

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A little ditty I was singing in the kitchen...

I can't recall the words to...

This song that's stuck in my head...

I must know the words, to this stupid song, or I can't go to bed...

It's the Circle of Life...

Oh yeah, that's right, the Lion King...

It's Elton John... At the height of his career...

Good Night!


Shalom: Live Long and Prosper!

Darrell Wolfe (DG Wolfe)

Storyteller | Writer | Thinker | Consultant @ DarrellWolfe.com

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Give light to my eyes

This Psalms is my hearts cry:

Psalm 13
For the director of music. A psalm of David. 

1How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?  2How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?  

3Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, 4and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall.  

5But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. 6I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me.

I wrestle with depression... often... pretty much constantly. I try to keep myself above it, I smile, I laugh, I watch funny things, I make jokes... I distract myself by watching television shows, writing, doing chores or hobbies...

But truth be told, none of that solves anything for very long. They are temporary pain medications to a bruised and battered soul.

How long? God? How long will I battle with my own soul (mind, will, emotions)?

It would seem that David suffered from these thoughts too, and fairly constantly if you read through the Psalms.

The Key

The Key, he indicates, is a new vision. "Give light to my eyes"... God IS light; therefore, seeing things from God's perspective.

This isn't about self-talk. It's not about trying to convince myself that it's not that bad or convince myself about all the good things I do have... it's about surrendering to the presence of God (feel like it or not, especially when not) and letting him supernaturally break through and give you a glimpse of his eternal vantage point.

This is not a one-time and done solution. This is something I must do every day. It's THIS DAILY BREAD...

Selah!

Shalom: Live Long and Prosper!

Darrell Wolfe (DG Wolfe)

Storyteller | Writer | Thinker | Consultant @ DarrellWolfe.com

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