Pressure!

Squeeze, strain, burden, tension, compressing, crushing, encumbrance, heaviness, load...  PRESSURE!

pres·sure [ˈpreSHər] NOUN

• the continuous physical force exerted on or against an object by something in contact with it:
• "the slight extra pressure he applied to her hand"
• the use of persuasion, influence, or intimidation to make someone do something:
• "the proposals put pressure on Britain to drop its demand"

Not by be confused with:

Peace

• relaxation, ease, peace

People pressure

There are so many people in this world. Customer people. Co-Worker people. Boss people. Family people. Drivers sharing the road people.

They all come with their emotional deposit, to place in me.

Every human interaction comes with an expectation or "proper" behavior, thoughts, feelings. Why can't my "feelings" today be strongly for something, and be strongly against the same thing tomorrow?

Why would you hold me to what I said yesterday? I don't remember what I said yesterday, this is what I'm saying today.

Task pressure

I guess it's the Genesis 3 curse, thorns and thistles, with the sweat of your brow you will bring forth food from the land.

Everywhere I go, it's "do more with less".

You do a great job, how about we increase your work load 430%, but please keep the same quality and consistency.

While you're at it, everyone else's work load increased by that much too, but they are less capable of handling it than you, so help them too will ya?

Don't be late on anything. We just can't imagine why this is bothering you so much?

WT?!

Planet pressure

I hate the human body. The entire experience of pleasure and pain is incomprehensible to me. If I had the opportunity to feel no pain, but the cost was no pleasure either, I would take it in a heart beat.

And what's with hunger and taste? Why can't everything taste the same and bring no pleasure, then I could eat only what I need and not what I don't, and I would have no PRESSURE to do otherwise.
Make me a machine, PLEASE make me a machine.

"Earth? What a terrible name for a planet, Earth. You may as well call it dirt. Planet dirt." Jetfire, Transformers.

When I come into work and see more work than I can handle, why does it make me panic inside?
When someone displays emotions in my presence, why does it give me the same feeling?Both require only one answer, escape.

This is especially true when they are combined into one thing. The overwhelming amount of tasks, are combined with people interactions. The combination of the two is insanity.

I lived in a car for six months (2006), and it didn't make me want to go back to drinking (sober since Jan 2002).

I work 4 months of 430% work load, that comes with 430% increase in people interactions, and I'm ready to not just fall off the sobriety wagon, but go running and screaming headlong into the ocean of it!

I go through each day, trying to remember WHY. Why would someone choose sobriety? Why did I? Why would I face other human beings without a chemical buffer between them and I? I can't recall...
I think I feel better now that I vented. Only a little, but a little is better than nothing.

Incremental wins.

Darrell