Marriage is NOT about both partners doing 50/50 or even 100/100. You can't calculate the time you spend doing something and say "Well, I put in 300 hours and you only put in 289 hours this week..."
Marriage is about partnership. We both bring to the table our unique set of gifts, abilities, needs, and faults. We both choose to use our attributes in service to the other. Together, mutually submitted one to another, neither being over the other, both serving out of love.
This also means being intimate.
Intimacy is not sex. Good Sex is a byproduct of intimacy, not intimacy itself.
Intimacy is a result of two hearts being vulnerable with each other and the other side receiving the vulnerability with Grace and Love and Mercy.
Intimacy comes from two people choosing to believe the best about the other. Choosing to grow together. Choosing to allow the other to be imperfect while simultaneously challenging them to rise above their imperfections and grow to the next level.
Intimacy comes from one person saying "When you____ I felt___" and they other party saying "I am so sorry for making you feel that way, how can I help?"
Intimacy comes from one party saying "I need you to change this behavior..." And there other responding without defensiveness "I will change. What would that look like for you?"
When these conversations can take place where both parties come to the table owning their own wants, needs, hurts, and even misperceptions... While simultaneously accepting their partner is a different person, and embracing their positive and less than positive attributes...
A culture of intimacy is created and crafted in that mutual submission.
#Selah
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